Antonio Brown’s Legally Dicey Farts – Lights Out with David Spade

Antonio Brown’s Legally Dicey Farts – Lights Out with David Spade

The former doctor of
football player Antonio Brown says the wide receiver
repeatedly farted in his face and laughed
about it during an exam. And we do have a clip,
somehow. DOCTOR: Just breathe
through your mouth. -(doctor speaking indistinctly)
-(farting sounds) (laughter) By the way, guilty. If I’m the judge, I just saw
the whole thing happen. That’s real. It’s my favorite video
of Antonio Brown because he’s not talking. (laughter) (applause and cheering) Oh, by the way, the same doctor,
he said he’s suing him for $10,000 for unpaid visits. The doctor’s trying to fart
shame him into paying, I guess. Are you not supposed to fart
at the doctor? I mean, you think
it’s like a real thing that could happen
at the doctor. But he’s trying to do it
to be a jerk. I know I’ll get paid. I’ll bring up the fact that
you farted in front of me. Yeah.
That’s his extortion money. It doesn’t seem like he cared that he was farting
in front of his doctor. No, he tried.
That’s from… He obviously had a friend
videotape it. -TIANA: Yeah.
-You know what I mean? TIANA: He was, like,
setting it up. Yeah. It’s just so sad how everything
has to be on video. Oh, there’s 300 people on
right now. Hi, Melanie. SPADE:
I, uh… One time I did this movie
called Warning Shot. It was a drama– that’s great,
nobody saw it. Um… I’m glad I took a huge pay cut
for nothing. But, uh, so I do it, and, I,
and this– spoiler alert– I had to do squibs– stop me
if I lose you– showbiz lingo– They had to blow me up
’cause I got shot, so they put them on here and then they’re like
little blowups, and then they have to put a wire
down the back of your pant leg, and then the guy has to walk
with a little plunger to blow them up, so he has
to walk behind me to the set. So I’m walking back to the set
like this kind of laughing, and then I go…
(farting sounds) I pop off three
just to be funny. And then I forget and I hear
the guy behind me going, “Hey, come on, man.” (laughter) “Come on, man.” The worst he could yell at first scene was,
“Come on, man.” GAFFIGAN:
Farts are always funny. -Disgusting, but they’re funny.
-SPADE: Oh, so good. -I’ve never farted.
-SPADE: No. You’ve read about them. Uh, Fred,
you look like a SBD guy. Um, listen, Tom Hiddleston… Why me? Silent but deadly. You squeak them out
in read through. Tom Hiddleston… That must be a horrible rumor. Um, the guy who played Loki -was in…
-I’m farting right now. SPADE:
You’re farting now. This guy was in a play
on Broadway. -Yeah. -And then
his performance was so sexy that a woman had an orgasm
in the audience. Now, I’m familiar
with this problem, but… (laughter) Jim, how do you deal with it
when you’re on stage? Well, that is what
applause breaks are for. I don’t even know
what an orgasm is. -TIANA: I think it… Oh, yeah.
-I-I would think they sat on her keys.
I’ve never… So, was she…
she was just in there, like… SPADE: I… She was rubbing one.
I don’t know. I mean,
that’s a natural reaction when a woman sees a straight guy
on Broadway. You’re just like…
(moans) -(cheering and applause)
-I mean, not me. Not me. I can really…
I can really only get off at the beginning of Miss Saigon. That’s the only time
I get off, really. -It’s very common.
-Is that from the play? Is that what’s happening?
What is this? No, that’s from my screen saver. (laughter) -No.
-“Is that from a play?” -Was… Who was…
-Do those glasses not work? Was it Taylor Swift?
Who was the woman? Oh, no. I would love
to have eyes on the woman. -We don’t know. Actually,
oh, what? -GAFFIGAN: Yeah. -By the way, you hear the news
about the spunk farm? -Oh, yeah. Uh, yeah. The fire at
a breeding facility in Australia caused a hundred containers
of cattle semen to explode. That’s the good news. The bad news is where am I
gonna get my cattle semen now? Is my gift card
still good there, you think? By the way, thank you for
sending that to my baby shower. Oh, yeah. -You’re pregnant?
-Is it flammable? -(laughs) Yeah.
-Do you know who the dad is yet? No. -SPADE: Um…
-Still up for… up for grabs. Is this the actual… -I think it’s a stock photo.
-Yeah. I mean, there’s someone
that just owns a farm, and they’re like,
“That’s not semen.” Right? -(laughs) Yeah. -Is this…
is this a before photo? I mean, I’ve had semen cheese, but, like,
what do they do do with…? First of all, semen cheese
sounds gross. It’s great. -GAFFIGAN: It’s great.
-Yeah. And you know what?
Once you get past the smell…

22 thoughts on “Antonio Brown’s Legally Dicey Farts – Lights Out with David Spade

  1. I think i have seen them all and, to me, this is far & away the funniest clip from the show yet.
    Super fun group. Really glad these are available on YouTube. I don't have cable tv.

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