I’m gonna start.
Uh, quickly, guys… I feel like I’m too old
to be on this panel, man. -No. I mean…
-Especially with her. I feel like I’m in an R. Kelly
biopic right now. (laughter, applause) -I mean, so do…
-My… my mind told me no! -Donnell…
-I’m sorry, no disrespect. Donnell, you have to lean
into the benefits of racism. No one white can tell
how old you are. -(laughter)
-Could be 13. You could be W.E.B. Du Bois,
we don’t know. I’m the Morgan Freeman
of comedy right now. Nobody knows how old I am. 30 to 60, I guess. Uh, I want to tell you
how I met this young lady. -You look lovely tonight.
-Thank you. -Donnell, you look fine.
-(laughter) -Thank you. -And, uh, no, we…
-And I look amazing. You look great.
You’re always ten out of ten. She and I were at a restaurant
about two years ago. I went over
to get a picture with her. And you were very nice about it. Then, of course, I posted it
and put something snarky, -and then she…
-Hello. (laughter) She said something
sort of mean back. And then what happened– I’d
never been involved in this– all the comments got in fights. Her fans– by the way,
they were killing mine. Because mine put up
a little bit of a fight, but hers were like, “I’ll blow
your head off with a shotgun.” I’m like, “I’m out. All right.” And, like, they laid down,
they were like, -“Spade, we kind of like it.”
-No, but fans are crazy! -Oh, yeah. Yours are crazi-er.
-No, the… And it’s crazy, because even
if I’m, like, “No, it’s cool,” -they’re still like (screams)
Like… -Yeah. They were really protecting you
like fire ants, -and I was getting stung…
-Yo, when I… when I saw that she was on the show today,
I got nervous as hell. I was like, “I don’t want
none of that Dr. Phil energy -on this show.
-Yeah, yeah. I was like this.
I know how she get down, sir. We-we got Dr. Phil himself. (laughter) -I…
-RAWLINGS: That’s the “before” of the “after” of Dr. Phil. Anyway, so we… they go,
“She has 14 million followers. She’s more famous than you.
You have one million.” I go, “Yeah, she’s more famous
if you go by facts.” -(laughter) -Uh, but anyway,
we made up, right? And then we…
and I did your music video, -“Gucci Flip Flops,”
which was a big deal. -Yeah. -And then, uh, now we’re
friends. -(cheering, applause) -“Gucci Flip Flops”?
-Yeah. Look at us! Yeah, that’s us. BHABIE: We should get this
made out of diamonds and just put it
in both of our living rooms… Well, I can’t afford it, but
maybe you can get two of them. (laughter) Uh, Lindsay Lohan… You know Lindsay Lohan,
you might, you do. BHABIE: Yeah. She was
in that movie, Mean Girls. SPADE: She was in Mean Girls,
that’s right. Lindsay Lohan is releasing her first new music video
since 2005, with a single called “Xanax.” -Uh…
-(laughter) Of course it is. Write about what you love. -SPADE: That’s right.
-Yeah, they always say when you write
you have to talk about, like, things that are happening
in the moment, like… I don’t know if that was
the name of it or it was her lunch order,
but, uh, she… She’s doing an alb–
She’s doing music of… Yeah. What do you like,
her first album better? -I didn’t even know
she was a singer. -Yeah. But she’s been locked up enough, I know she’s gonna come out
a gangster rap album next. Yeah, she’s probably got
so much shit right now. -Yeah.
-Donnell, Donnell, -being a drug addict…
-Why do you got to say my name and do this shit right here? Just talk to me, like,
what you about… I just love drama,
my– all of my people do. -RAWLINGS: Okay.
-Um… Like, being a drug addict
is her career, music is her passion. Um…
But I get worried who’s gonna run that beach club
on Mykonos? She’s gonna be off making music, and, like,
those guys gay Greek guys are gonna start stealing
from her. She’s on the Australian, uh–
what’s that show– Masked Singer now. She’s playing– I think
she’s playing a bumblebee, or maybe she’s playing someone
who got stung by bumblebees. (laughter) Uh, oh, wait, Nicki Minaj. Oh, her fans went into a panic. Listen to this one, guys. She tweeted that she’s retiring
to start a family. Is this the end
of the twerk era? No. Me and Cardi got y’all. We’re gonna be here, ah… I’m not looking.
I’m not looking. I didn’t see anything. That’s-That is the problem
right there. Nicki Minaj is the iPhone 7
of bad bitches. We have Lizzo,
we have Cardi B now. She just can’t–
she can’t compete. But she didn’t retire,
Cardi B retired her. -Well, let’s say something.
-Yes. That’s very true. Hold on. No, y’all,
y’all, okay. -As much as… -Oh, are we
gonna start clapping now? -Yeah.
-As much as Nicki… -Are we drink throwing?
-RAWLINGS: All right. No. You have to save that
for the end. Um, anyways, yeah. You know, you’ve got to give
Nicki her props, though. -Nicki was running this shit
before anyone. -She was, -but not anymore. It’s over!
-But no one told her! -It’s over!
-Absolutely. -My thing is…
-Okay, let me explain it. -It’s over. -No one told her,
no one told her to get salty. -Cardi B… -If she–
But if she would have took Cardi under her wing and been
like, “Yeah, this is my bitch, da-da-da-da.”
She didn’t have to be all, “Ugh. I can’t stand another
bitch taking my spot.” Like, sit your salty ass down
and just deal with it. -Cardi B…
-That’s what I say. Look, that is very smart. -I was saying this last night.
-BRANUM: If you have a hater, collaborate with them,
and then get to be -on their Comedy Central show.
-SPADE: Right. Cardi destroyed her career
with one phrase. I don’t even know
how you spell it. She said (rolls tongue)
and it was over. Very fickle that fan base. I mean, Cardi jumped out with that little Kodak remix, that’s really what
got her shit popping, so they better give
my mans his respect. Mans’s can be one person, too,
you do know that, right? -Yeah.
-My… I’m following pieces of this.