Bizarre Rules at an Eagles Concert – Lights Out with David Spade

Bizarre Rules at an Eagles Concert – Lights Out with David Spade

the Eagles are going
on tour next year. They’ve been on tour.
I’ve seen them. I actually saw them
a couple of nights ago. I did a little review.
Let’s look at a clip. Actually,
let’s watch the whole thing. So, I had the play-sure of going to see the Eagles,
which I’ve seen before. I know they’re
just shoveling money, I feed it, they shovel it.
But I do. I was in the second row.
Is that a good row? Mm-hmm. That was what, a thousand?
One, two… Pretty close. Hi, Eagles. Boink, boink.
Pluck feathers. First of all, not
super personalities up there. Let’s be honest.
It’s, like, Joe Walsh and four burnt matches. Two people were wearing
bowler hats. That’s right at the beginning.
It threw me off. If I was Don Henley,
I’d be backstage going… “Are you wearing a ba-ba-ba…
bowler hat?” I didn’t see that in the window
at Banana Republic. Is anyone wearing those
right now? Topshop? Anybody? We’re in America.
Take it off. And why are two of you
wearing them? Two. I don’t need Chuck Chaplin
out there. We’re trying to be hip.
We’re trying to get that… 40-to-90-year-old crowd. Right now we’ve got 90-to-300. It is an old crowd, but I
look like a spring chicken. (squawks) They also stopped
maybe an hour in and go, “We’re gonna take 30. Bye-ee. “Go buy some merch.
Get us richer. “Have our $60 beer,
whatever you want. We’ll be back.” And then they scram.
Lights come up. And, of course, people get me
into a selfie-like situation. (mimics slow audio):
Rrrr… This dude’s here can dish… Ka-flash. I’m like, “Ha-ha-ha-ha.
We’re high.” Everyone’s spilling beer on me. Don Henley’s back
in his hammock, like, from the Sharper Image. I’m so mad by the time
they come back. I’m like,
“Why would you stop?” But then like a bad boyfriend
I take ’em right back. And they’re, like,
three bars of, you know, any great song,
and I’m like this. Ooh!
(panting): I know this one. I know this one. This one’s a toe-tapper. (whoops) Pow. Pow. The weird part
about going to the Eagles is they make an announcement:
no dancing, no standing and no pictures. And then there’s
a security guard looking directly at me
’cause I’m in the second row– did I already drop
that bomb on you?– So if I try to do a camera,
he’s like this. I’m like, “Ugh.” I’m a star. It’s cool. Anyway, there’s a 22-year-old
in the row in front of me. Why she’s there, I don’t know. But she’s getting so pissed
and so drunk on vodka crans
that she’s just like this. The guy goes, “Sit down,”
she goes, “Hey, (bleep) you.” I go, “I don’t want
a part of this.” And everyone’s like, “Hey, tell
your daughter to shut up.” I go, “I’m not– I don’t–
I’m-I’m not with her. “I don’t know her.
She’s right here. I don’t know
she has good tickets.” And then she’s wiggling so much she starts waving people
to get up. Now, three people got up
in my row. It was pandemonium. Anarchy just short of The Purge. After a while, two songs later,
she goes, “Everybody up.” Now she’s got
about 40 people up. We’ve got a real Norma Rae
situation on our hands ’cause she’s organizing the mob. And even the Eagles
are darting down like this, “Do we have a sitch?
Is there a sitch?” So they finally
get everyone down, everything calms down
for a second, and then they go into
“All She Wants to Do is Dance.” I mean, are you (bleep)
asking for it. This chick is like, toot! Pops up,
right out of the toaster. We’ve got a full-on Footloose
situation on our hands. Everyone’s like… Because the Eagles, (bleep) you,
you’re asking for it. And then they’re looking down, and I’m looking
at the Eagles going, “Hey, why don’t you guys
take it easy?” (laughing) Anybody hear that?
It’s so loud. I said why don’t–
there’s a song… Ah, (bleep) it. Anyway, overall, all hits,
wall to wall. I would see them again. (cawing) Eagles! Pow.

64 thoughts on “Bizarre Rules at an Eagles Concert – Lights Out with David Spade

  1. why do they play the laugh track? i think whoever at cc signed off on this needs executed. i know its mean but at what point is this anything more than him making noises

  2. This isn't exactly true, in his book he talks about this concert and that girl was his date, and she had never listened to the eagles

  3. The constant talking about how his fame and fortune gets him cool stuff and into cooler places makes me wish Skippy just killed him in his sleep.Add one more failure in your life Skip.

  4. If I pay to see a band they should not tell me I can't "dance" unless it's said before I buy the ticket, make a sitting section geezers

  5. Spade told this story on Ellen, and that 22-year-old girl was his date…. Here, strangely, she's in the row in front of him and he doesn't know her! Hmmm….

  6. I hate laugh tracks. I like to laugh along with “real people” when I’m watching a video, alone. They aren’t fooling anyone. I know whether or not it’s real people laughing behind the screen of my phone. I will not be fooled into laughing along with people who aren’t even really there. My sense of humor shall not be manipulated, I say unto you, verily

  7. Usually Spade videos get adoring comments — this one is different — I feel like he’s trying too hard to recapture the moment of his earlier tellings of this story — not unlike Bill Murray in Groundhog Day desperately trying to recreate the snowball fight that had been so joyful and now seems labored and manic

  8. went to see Don Henley a few years ago. strange concert. we were in the front rows and the same bullshit. no talking dancing. So sit down shut up. no fun. We started having fun anyway. a bouncer came up to us to tell us to be quite during the "wedding" song. My friend says, "how old are you?' Fuck you may daughter is your age, we'll do as we please. He left, we had fun anyway.

  9. David spade is still making me laugh dude we need a Joe dirt 2.0 and he has a new hemi and Vin diesels in it your welcome America
    ******I came back to put a capital A on America++++++++++++

  10. The use of sarcasm is just like mine. All my life I've been told that I was a smart aleck..or elleck..whatever that is.

  11. It was inevitable. You've done something that I can't condone. You went to a Greedles concert. The Greedles don't just suck, but they are a fraud band, they are kundts. I can't wait for Henley to die. He can join Frey in Hell. But then again, Satan wouldn't want the competition.
    The Eagles were Bernie Leadon, Randy Meisner, Don Felder, Glenn Frey and Don Henley.

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