Dana is an old buddy of mine. As you know, we did old SNL, and we– at the same time;
we overlapped a bit. I met you, I think,
when you were 19. -No.
-Or 20. -Oh, you met me? Yeah.
-When you were 19 or 20, and you looked like
a fetus with shoes. (laughter) (high-pitched):
Hi, fellas! I want to be in show business! No, you didn’t… No, no. -(whooping, applause)
-He was always cool. I was constantly
crapping my pants? -You…
-Yeah. and Rob Schneider were the,
uh, you know… -We came on together.
-Coke and Pepsi. Dennis Miller and I
befriended you guys -Yeah. -and recommended
you guys to Lorne Michaels. -And then what happened?
-And then, uh… well, we have a million stories,
but one of them I remember was, we were, during the elections,
you were playing George Bush, Phil Hartman was playing…
Clinton… -George Bush Sr.
-Senior. -Phil was pl… uh,
Phil was playing… -Clinton. -Clinton.
-And, then, I… I was… I wanted to try
to do Ross Perot– he was someone running
back then– and, uh… Kind of a crazy Texas munchkin
who just passed away. -Yeah. And so I said…
and I called Smigel, -Yeah. and he goes,
“No, I think Dana’s gonna,” and I’m like,
“Dana already plays Bush.” So, I got a call to play Ross
Perot in the election special in primetime– and here’s
a picture of it, actually. So, I do an hour of makeup–
there I am on that side. How are you taller than me
again? Are you on an apple box? Because, uh–
that’s all I care about. -So, that’s the wide shot.
-That’s a wide shot. So, we start the special,
I’m so excited, I’m, like, working on my Perot,
and then they do… Dana does all his Bush, then,
uh, Clinton, you know, by Phil, and then they get to me,
and they go, “Hold, please. “Thanks, David. Let’s get Dana
in the Perot makeup.” Then I would go backstage,
get in the Perot outfit, -go over here… -Yeah,
I’d peel off the bald cap. But you didn’t do Bush
in the wide shot. You just did Perot
in the wide shot. No, I… no,
I was a little chump… That was A. Whitney Brown. Oh, did he do it
in the wide shot? I’m just kidding. I just said
the name to get you going. Don’t worry,
I’m already livid about this. -But-but I re…
-(laughter) I remember you, ’cause
I was going back and forth, just in the rehears…
and you over in the corner, and you had the wig on
and the… -I’d never seen a more miserable
comedian in my life. -(laughter) You were invited to the party
and didn’t have a line. -It was just, like…
-I know. I was so sad, and I was, like,
I came over in character. (like Perot): You all right?
How you doin’, young man? -Which made it worse.
-Hey, can I finish one time? Can I finish one time? It’s a marathon, not a sprint,
you understand? You understand?
Let me put it to you this way. You can’t put a porcupine
in the barn, light it on fire, and expect to make licorice. (laughter, applause) -And I looked at…
-(whooping) You made me feel better. -You had one single tear
coming down. -Bee-yoo… The only reason we didn’t tease
you is ’cause now, in 2019, -you have your own show.
-Yeah, we can tease me. -(cheering, applause)
-Well, yeah. My first time. Now– second time. I prefer jobs where I don’t have
to come in before noon. -Uh…
-And leave by 3:30. Yeah. But you’re an old pro,
so you might have advice for me. Do you have any advice
on doing a show? Well, I talked to… I talked
to our friend Dennis Miller -about the show,
and he was impressed. -Oh, okay. (like Miller): Criminy. Spudly
going in the big-time, huh? Half past 11:00,
following the Noah cat, huh? You got Fallon on the left,
okay, Colbert on the right, and you’re stuck
in the middle, Kiki, okay? (laughter) Quick impression: Jimmy Fallon. (stammering, laughing) (laughter, applause) -Yeah.
-Quick… -Yeah? -Quick impression
anything gets a laugh. -Of course.
-Quick impression Samantha Bee. (high-pitched)
Heh-heh. (laughter) I did it backstage–
they thought it was funny. -(laughter)
-It was fun. It is. If you say it’s an
impression, people believe it. -They love it.
-I know. Like you. (like Spade):
Hey, buddy. What’s up, buddy? Whoo-whoo.
(whistles) Raah, raah, raah. (applause, whooping) Or this one. (high-pitched humming) I love all your moves. I love the use of sound effects
in your stand-up. Makes me laugh every time.
Open a door. (imitates creaking) -(laughter)
Bee-yu, bee-yu, bee. (imitates dripping) -Uh, now, Dana…
-Wait a minute. -Yeah. -That was bril…
I didn’t know that one. -Yeah.
-Do that one more time. What is it, water…? (imitates dripping) -Yeah, stay close. There’s more.