You heard about this. -(woman laughs loudly)
-A, uh, drunk flight attendant was arrested after she was seen
stumbling all over the cabin. Then she passed out in her seat
for the entire flight. The pilots were pissed off
’cause they couldn’t get their drinks. Um, Lauren, you’re drunk. What do you think? I– This stresses me out
so much. First of all, I never see
anything fun like this happen on my-my planes.
I’m like, “This looks fun.” I’d rather have her like that
than in my grill too much with a basket going,
“Animal crackers?” I go, “No.” “Are you sure? “There’s that little renegade
Slim Jim on the bottom here, if you want to get
on that thing. Gently used.” I’m like,
“Oh, I’m good. I’m fine.” Best part
about her being passed out is, if this happened, maybe,
before the plane took off, I would just go, “Uh-huh,” -and put my seat back.
-Yeah. -Just like, “Yeah.
You like that? -Yeah. -Yeah. -Oh. Oh! You like that?”
-Oh, yeah! -(mimics beeping)
-And I’d get up and I would just start moving
people’s stuff aside. I’d just grab my guitar
and put it where the bags -are supposed to be.
-Yeah. I would just switch shit.
She can’t, like– -She couldn’t stop me.
-Can’t do anything. Yeah. -It would be like anarchy.
-I think it’s good, man. I mean, it’s taken a while,
but we’re finally over 9/11. You know? It’s like… the staff is getting drunk
on the plane again! -Yeah.
-I love that. I was a little tired of these,
you know, Southwest stewardesses acting like–
as flight attendants, acting like they were
in the CIA, you know? -I like to see ’em
in their natural habitat. -Yeah. I, one time… I was in– I was in coachonce,-and, um…
-LAPKUS: Oh, my God. No, I was in coach once.
And they, uh… And the– and the lady,
you know, they’re– she’s nice to me, ’cause they’re
handing out those cups of water like this.
(squirting sounds) Drip, drip, drip.
And she goes, “Here.” Gives me a bottle,
like, three gallons. I go, “Oh. Cool.” And then everyone’s looking
at me. I’m like this. (gulping, grunting) And they’re like,
“A little help?” I go, “She’ll get mad.”
(gulps) So I looked
like the biggest asshole. I’m nursing this 40–
Eh, whatever. You get it.