Drunk Flight Attendants Are the Best (feat. Wayne Brady) – Lights Out with David Spade

Drunk Flight Attendants Are the Best (feat. Wayne Brady) – Lights Out with David Spade

You heard about this. -(woman laughs loudly)
-A, uh, drunk flight attendant was arrested after she was seen
stumbling all over the cabin. Then she passed out in her seat
for the entire flight. The pilots were pissed off
’cause they couldn’t get their drinks. Um, Lauren, you’re drunk. What do you think? I– This stresses me out
so much. First of all, I never see
anything fun like this happen on my-my planes.
I’m like, “This looks fun.” I’d rather have her like that
than in my grill too much with a basket going,
“Animal crackers?” I go, “No.” “Are you sure? “There’s that little renegade
Slim Jim on the bottom here, if you want to get
on that thing. Gently used.” I’m like,
“Oh, I’m good. I’m fine.” Best part
about her being passed out is, if this happened, maybe,
before the plane took off, I would just go, “Uh-huh,” -and put my seat back.
-Yeah. -Just like, “Yeah.
You like that? -Yeah. -Yeah. -Oh. Oh! You like that?”
-Oh, yeah! -(mimics beeping)
-And I’d get up and I would just start moving
people’s stuff aside. I’d just grab my guitar
and put it where the bags -are supposed to be.
-Yeah. I would just switch shit.
She can’t, like– -She couldn’t stop me.
-Can’t do anything. Yeah. -It would be like anarchy.
-I think it’s good, man. I mean, it’s taken a while,
but we’re finally over 9/11. You know? It’s like… the staff is getting drunk
on the plane again! -Yeah.
-I love that. I was a little tired of these,
you know, Southwest stewardesses acting like–
as flight attendants, acting like they were
in the CIA, you know? -I like to see ’em
in their natural habitat. -Yeah. I, one time… I was in– I was in coachonce,-and, um…
-LAPKUS: Oh, my God. No, I was in coach once.
And they, uh… And the– and the lady,
you know, they’re– she’s nice to me, ’cause they’re
handing out those cups of water like this.
(squirting sounds) Drip, drip, drip.
And she goes, “Here.” Gives me a bottle,
like, three gallons. I go, “Oh. Cool.” And then everyone’s looking
at me. I’m like this. (gulping, grunting) And they’re like,
“A little help?” I go, “She’ll get mad.”
(gulps) So I looked
like the biggest asshole. I’m nursing this 40–
Eh, whatever. You get it.

63 thoughts on “Drunk Flight Attendants Are the Best (feat. Wayne Brady) – Lights Out with David Spade

  1. Who the fuck does he have on? Some greasy bitch…cracked out Wayne Brady wash up…and a fat moron idiot?

    Hate looking at spades fore head

  2. When someone offers you non-flint municipality water, you chug dat shit, maybe after filtering the chlorine and other matter particle that are ok in low dosezzz

  3. In my opinion, there are too many guests for such a short show. Usually only one is funny and the rest struggle to keep up. Try just having one… or make the show an hour because I want more Spade than 21 minutes. But like the show and hope it continues.

  4. I would love to see this show be with two guests and like an hour long. Would be better banter and just tiffing stories

  5. I said to my son and baby mama (jk) instead of a fish I can drink like a pilot ,,, I've never flown ,,, they didn't laugh or even smile

  6. Christoper Hitchen's ghost; "women still aren't funny".

    This show would be twice as good without the gender quota, unless it's Ellen, Kristen Wiig or Melissa Mccarthy

  7. watch out, the outro music is ear rape. i was cranking up the volume so i could hear the dialogue the whole video and then BAWWWM !!!

  8. LOL @ "We're over 9/11!"

    Yeah, I remember flights to Europe and Hawaii as a child in the 60s-70s. People smoked, drank, wandered around, chatted, had sex. Flying was quite raucous for a decade or two. Suits, booze, cigarettes, and planes full of the upper middle class (or better). It was like Mad Men in the Skies. Flight attendants were ALL scoping sugar daddies. They were amazing.

  9. I love how you got Tim Dillon on the show. Nice job spade for giving the average person a chance to be introduced to comics that they wouldn't normally see in their algorithms

  10. I just notice Tim and I are wearing the same shirt – Croft and Barrow polo from Kohl's

    Because my collar looks the same way

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