you know this– Comedy Central had a big roast
of Alex Baldwin, and it was good,
because I helped out, I tell everyone what to do
during the show from a headset. Let’s take a peek.
Funny video. -♪ ♪
-(video screens whooshing) (electronic static) NIKKI GLASER:
Alec Baldwin, everyone! (audience cheering, whistling) -Hey. We’re back.
-I’m, uh… I am such a fan of the Baldwins. I’ve never been so sure
that four people have buried a hooker together. SPADE (over radio):
Nikki, what are you doing? That’s the plot for Grown Ups 3 Guess who was gonna play
the hooker. And guess who’s not now? All right, Chris, spice this up,
call Jeff a racial name. Anything you want,
anything in the book. Jeff Ross, what am I (bleep)? Went with old reliable. It works. Caitlyn, try a trans joke, but do one
that’s not funny at all. Let me tell you, I can tell you a thing or two
about switching teams. Wow. I was sort of kidding. When I heard he had five kids
by two different women, I was like, “Oh,
we’re roasting my teammates.” Is he black enough
to make that joke, Candace? -Why are you asking me?
-No reason. I’m just (bleep) with you.
Can I get a raise? Of course. Another one. Nikki, on your TV show,
you asked your parents if they had ever done anal,
and, of course, they said, “After Nikki was born,
we only did anal.” Only anal? Do we have a current number
on Nikki’s mom, Candace? -Working on it.
-Okay. Maybe she should do a set visit.
(clicks tongue) Speaking of terrible names,
your wife’s name is Hilaria. Alec, easy. If you want to fight
wait ’til the parking lot before the wrap party. Thank you. Hug Caitlyn
like she’s a cactus. Perf. What’s the one
with the chocolate, and they have, uh,
coconut in there? -Macaroons.
-Macaroons. Why don’t we– Oh, wait. Nikki, no one said anything
racist in a couple of seconds, can you get on that? Blake, you look like a black guy
that got made by a printer running out of ink. There’s my girl. Nikki looks like a stork
that delivers abortions. Oh, too far, Jeff. Candace, hit the shock collar. -(buzzing)
-Ah! RHEA: Alec was once arrested
for cycling the wrong way down Fifth Avenue. Officers initially assumed he was an escaped
Russian circus bear. Explain the joke,
they didn’t get it. He’s very hairy. Saved it… ish? Caitlyn completed her gender
reassignment in 2017, finally confirming that no one in that family wants
a white dick. Candace, give me the number
of Kendall and Kylie. I want to prove
this (bleep) wrong. Okay. that’s a wrap. Oh, shit,
Nikki’s mom just hit me back. All right, I’m out of here. Take it easy, Candace.