J.Lo Is Having a Ball Post-“Hustlers” (feat. Bill Burr) – Lights Out with David Spade

J.Lo Is Having a Ball Post-“Hustlers” (feat. Bill Burr) – Lights Out with David Spade


The movie Hustlers had
a $33 million opening weekend, and J.Lo celebrated
like any celebrity would, with back-to-back parties
for herself in Miami, and a five-tier cake
that cost four grand. She’s like,
“Oh, my God, I’m so surprised. “It looks just like it did in the two-hour meeting
we had about it.” (laughter) It came out like the rendering. We’ve-we’ve all been robbed
by strippers. How do you feel
about this movie? I don’t know what it is. (laughter) Dude, all I do is,
I watch sports, I watch MeTV. That reference you made to the
lady– the tear drop tattoo– -I don’t have any idea who
that is. -SPADE: Lori Loughlin. -There’s just too much shit
to know. It’s a cake. -Yeah. She looks happy. You know?
It doesn’t appear to be melting. -She-she… -Can’t she just
have her parties? -I don’t care.
-Yeah, yeah. The-the movie–
correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t seen the film–
but the movie’s about some strippers
who used to drug men and then take
their credit cards. SPADE:
Rob them, yeah. Now, and… I hope
they don’t think this… -It sounds empowering.
-Yeah, it’s an empowering film. -Yeah, it’s empowering.
-But here’s the thing. They’re calling it
the female Ocean’s 11. -Ocean’s 11…
-SPADE: Mm-hmm. …they got a machine
that made Vegas blackout, and an Asian guy
who could get through tunnels and all that type of stuff. -It was just a bit more
elaborate. -SPADE: Yeah. (laughter) Than a handy guy’s
night-night juice and stealing their money, yeah. A very empowering movie–
Hustlers. I-I don’t know,
but it’s Oscar talk already. -I don’t know. It…
-JEFFERIES: The #MeToo ver… The men’s version is called
#MeToo, the movie. SPADE:
Yeah. (laughter) JEFFERIES: Yeah. Listen,
me and Bill were talking about this backstage. We don’t want to get in trouble,
and all these questions -are gonna get us
in (bleep) trouble. -I know. No. -It’s ridiculous.
-No, we’re all… we’re all going down together. -Listen, this one’s easier,
not… -JEFFERIES: I-I saw -that film, as well.
-Kanye West… Kanye West has a new shoe called
a “Yeezy Foam Runner.” It looks like a…
less cool Crocs. BURR: That looks
like a bicycle helmet. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, it does. There’s-there’s nothing wrong
with the shoes. It’s what
they’re being modeled against. They shouldn’t be
on a motorcycle. You put those shoes
on a nurse with some scrubs. SPADE:
Yeah. All of a sudden,
you’re going, “Oh, this is…” Or you put it on Ron Jeremy shuffling around
the Rainbow Room. Yeah, the Rainbow Room. It does look like what
the nurses wear on Star Trek. Yeah, I don’t know about these
are the toughest shoes to wear. -I, uh…
-What are you talking about? -They’re on a motorcycle.
-I know. I don’t know
if that’s the best for… Those people are badass.
Look at ’em. And, like,
you look at those two. That’s probably how
he met that girl. It’s like, “Ah, same shoes. We have something in common!” They will definitely
save your feet in a wipeout. All right, guys, moving on. American Airlines’ naming rights for the, uh,
Miami Heat arena are over, and the porn company
BangBros is offering ten million, uh,
to buy them. If approved,
they rename it BangBros center. They’re willing
to call it BBC. Uh, BBC doesn’t sound
like a great name, either, -if you, uh…
-No, no, it’s a… If you know the porn biz. It’s… No. BBC is the British
Broadcasting Company, right? -So you could have, like,
at half time… -To some. You could have episodes…
you could have episodes -of Downton Abbey.
-BURR: Yeah. Or-or the porn version,
Going Down on Abby. (laughter, applause) -Hey, thank you.
-SPADE: Yes. A couple of Shark Tankers
are gonna pitch that. What does BBC mean in porn? I think it means…
Bill? I-I don’t know. -I heard. -I’m really exposing
how old I am. I don’t know
what any of this shit is. -I know what the Miami Heat is.
-Yeah. I like
the mother-daughter porn. Yeah. This is a side note
for the crowd. Um, mother-daughter porn
is not real mother-daughter. -I mean, in a perfect world.
But… -(laughter) It’s usually an 18-year-old
and then a cougar, and it starts
with the 18-year-old, and then she scrambles away,
and the guy’s trying to… Then the cougar comes in
and goes, “Not bad for 59.” He’s like, “Huh? 59?” “Uh, let’s put a cap
on the term ‘cougar.’ Let’s get the porn union.” Anyway, I think
that’s enough about that. (laughter) Or to match, many would argue. Yeah, porn is fun to talk about,
but, uh, we don’t have all day. Uh, do you think…
is porn too mainstream? -I know you don’t watch it.
-No, I do. Oh, you do. Okay. I-I just,
I just type out the whole word. -Oh, instead of…
-(laughter) -instead of “BBC.”
-You know, I don’t want any… I don’t want any confusion. I know exactly what it is
that I’m looking for. I’m not like
you (bleep) swingers over here with your abbreviations. Hey, give me the 2LC with the… -What are the…
-SPADE: Easier to talk in code and not get busted.


46 thoughts on “J.Lo Is Having a Ball Post-“Hustlers” (feat. Bill Burr) – Lights Out with David Spade

  1. Jim jeffries turned out to be a fucking lying leftie…. what he did to avi the israeli dude is fucking disgusting… i hope i see him in Amsterdam once… ill kick his fucking Ass … and am not just talking shit…

  2. “Empowering” 😂

    Femininity really does empower itself through lies, trickery, deceit, theft, manipulation, and temptation.

    Basically everything the Bible tells us not to do results in women not being in power.

    That’s why leftists hate the Bible – because leftists are feminine people.

  3. the shoe looks like something you design as you're coming off your meds or waiting for them to kick in, all melty and gooey and stupid

  4. "Jim Jefferies" is a hypocritical foreign piece of garbage that shits on America and edits interviews to make people look bad.

  5. yooo just imagine Bill Burr sitting in front of a Mac with his pants unbuckled and a half-chub trying to type the porn he wants in the search bar using both index fingers 🤣😩🤢🤔 that nigga take the nasty award

  6. Not Oscar worthy performance ! It's just Jlo showing her 75% butt the rest is body double.

    Walter White

    Michael Corleone

    Great performance are remembered for the story and characters ! Iconic characters !
    I do not know Jlo s characters name or story ,I doubt anybody saw it for those reasons

  7. I saw Ron Jeremy at the rainbow room when I was there a few months ago.. mentioned it to a buddy the next day and he goes “yeah dudes there all the time”. Apparently that wasn’t a joke based on what Jim just said LOL.

  8. Fuckin Bill is so proud of his shitty special he’s doing a complete media bliss, and in the process showing everyone what an asshole he really is

  9. I'm not prude. I'm not overly PC. Sometimes I just wish dudes would think about their daughters and nieces when they talk about women and sex.

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