LIGHTS, CAMERA, DEATH | Hitman #4

LIGHTS, CAMERA, DEATH | Hitman #4


*WHA-DOOSH* Top of the morning to you laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to Hitman! It finally got updated again. Now we are in Marrakesh. I think thats what it is I can’t remember and I am sorry if I am pronouncing that wrong. and I have no idea what I am going to do but I look spiffy I look like I am out on holiday. Pick up brick? Well then, I can just pick up a brick….instantly Who’s leaving bricks around this place? Do you guys have no upkeep? Do you not want to make the place look nice? What are we cooking in here? oooohhhhhhh somebody’s making dumplings ohhhhhhhhh man I f … I ffff… ahh I love dumplings. I want some right now are those… are those meat dumplings hoagie mandu? no… Fine you don’t speak that language because that’s–this is not Korea *Laughs* uh, right. What are we doing? I don’t know who I’m supposed to be killing? Is there anybody I’m supposed to be killing? of course there is. There always is. *inhales* I wanna be one of those soldier dudes Except I- if I I think if I changed myself into one of
those soldier dudes EVERYONE is gonna know that I stand out of place Ooooooooooo Do you really just sell this shit on the side of the road? headphones, phones, tablets, computer monitors how am I suppose to know? I’ve never been to Marrakesh BREAKING NEWS: explosion somewhere Oh was that me? Did I do that? ehh sorry If it’s not me then I didn’t do anything You look like Michael from GTA 5 nice to meet you bro, here come here *laughs* dude, are you an ice dancer? look at those skills ehaha I wanna steal a bike, can I have a bike? ok moving on OOOOOOOH this place looks NICE It has great weather nice and warm and sunny just the way I like it. Oo, choppers What’s going down? oh! That’s a bad sign Is there some sort of attack somewhere? Sir, could you tell me what’s going on? Not you! Do you look like like a dude who knows what the fuck is going on? Is everyone just lining up to talk to me now for a reason? MOVE! I wanna talk to the military dude Do you know what’s going on? No…nobody seems to know what the hell is going on… Can I buy some popcorn? It’s gonna make it incredibly hard to kill anybody in this level ’cause…why do you have a gas mask? What is going on? I really should’ve listened to the mission briefing but, I’m a man, who believes that you get in, you see what he fuck is going on, and you do your business. Good God it’s like civil war going on Is there an uprising happening that I am not aware of? HELLO? Wha-what are we ranting against? “SAY NO TO PITA POCKETS” Why would you say that? Seven billion pita pockets I know they’re delicious. Why would you be against them? Can I go through here? *military man* restrict security today dude- Why? Consulate General of Sweden Are you against Sweden? I mean, I don’t blame you, fucking PooDiePie and all that. It’s hard not to be against Sweden. Could you direct me where the bathroom is? Police. Ok, that does not look like a bathroom. Imma just go… I-It’s over this way Ri-Ok Yeah I’m alright I’m just looking for the pee pee hole Is it over here? Maybe. Hey fellas. I’m like the only person who stands out here For a hitman assassin dude I’m sure not inconspicuous, I’m like the only person here in a pristine white suit thats fine..is there any-where-what am i supposed to be doing okay, lets keep searching around. Surely somebody has some idea. Excuse me, sorry me, s- coming through. ‘Sorry me’ that’s not words. Ahaha coming through. Excuse me, yes, “Down with Sweden” Everybody seems very against this. What did that dude do? Did he bring some fish over? Umm, this girl is getting ready to fuckin’ dance YEEAHH! Party time! Hello. Ma’am *Merchant* “Ahh, come closer I have everything in carpets I can even get you a flying one if you want. ehehehe” You can get me a flying carpet? Can you show me a whole new world? ..bro.. You look like a person who is gonna kill me in here. but luckily for me, I’M the one who does the killing. Can I go here and hide you somewhere? Ok Imma head up stairs, I heard that you have a toilet I need to use that, BADLY I had some of that kebab earlier and
it’s not sitting well it needs to get out of my system Woooooaaaahhhh… Okay I apologize for the frame rate as
well In this episode because it’s fucking
awful. I- Shut up! There we go [laugh] That’s how I do. Snap neck Sorry! Can I not take your disguise? Aw, that’s the only reason I killed you! sorry nobody sees anything for a place
to hide you okay Is there a place to hide you? Okay, I’ll hide you in here. Can I take your disguise? Aw, come on man! I wanted to be a cool looking chef lady! Son of a bitch! Hi! You didn’t see anything, ok? Can I-can I subdue you? Subdue! You didn’t see anything! You didn’t see anything! How did he not see me… dump that body Okay Imma steal your disguise though NICE! Even though some of those guys are gonna know what’s up. Give me this gun and… snap! That’s how I snap necks, I just go up and… Pffft! Hide the body, hide the evidence Nobody knows that I am a bad man- I… do not blend in with the rest of the uniformed men *gasp* CHOPPER! What’s going on? Somebody’s arriving. Okay, I think my target is inside that building. I have to get in and then kill the Swedish consulate Am I against the Swedish dude as well? Ooooh, ok Imma hit this bong first fucking kick it up a notch Don’t worry …about a thing ‘Cause every little thing Is gonna be alright See this, this is my gun. This is my boomstick. Whoever steps out of line, if you want to buy bananas buy bananas but if you try to fucking buy
one of those watermelons for the price of bananas I will shoot the shit out of you yeah
yeah Oh, there’s another guy right there who
knows who I might be Um, I don’t wanna buy fucking carpets why is everyone selling carpets? I don’t want one! Do I look li-does
a military man need a carpet? Ooh, free sample! I can’t Why would I poison the dried figs? Figs are delicious! I just want to sample them! Okay, moving towards the consulate. Hello, nice to see ya, welcome, again I stand out a mile I do not look like any of the other
military soldiers. We look the same right? Yes, this guy knows that I am not part of this squad. He’s looking at me like, who are you? I
know you’re not the same as me And I don’t like you. What are you guys
talking about? Oooh Imma-imma blend in. Watch this watch this. Expert blending now you I look a small bit more alike. This dude
also does not appreciate me Who are you? You’re different to me I
don’t like you Ooh, I can talk to them! Hello do guys want to do an interview with me? Sons of bitches I want to be on TV! Imma infiltrate I’m
tracking this thing it’s apparently an interview I’m going to become a news person and
then take an interview with the dude and instead of shooting him at the camera Imma just shoot him. Solid plan. Golden plan. Who’s with me? High five high five it bro
smack it smack that hand *psh* good job pardon you I look dapper as all hell what do you
look like fucking wearing those slacks from 2006 Yeah, that’s not fashion. Are you spanking an invisible cat? She’s a ghost! Fellow soldier Hello, I mean hello fellow soldier not,
fellow soldier Haha that’s an old soldier joke we make
They didn’t recognize. I was just bluffing my entire way
through, I have no idea what I’m talking about. Just say soldier words Ooh, this place looks spooky. Is this wh- I don’t wanna buy a fuckin’ lamp! Why’s everyone-ju-I didn’t know that regular civilians were allowed to just
come up to the soldiers and be like, “recruit?” at ease I don’t wanna buy a lamp.
I don’t wanna buy a carpet. All I want to do is get inside wherever the
fuck is going on in here How do I get in? I don’t know but this
looks like expensive stuff *Lady in background* “Sorry, but I don’t know you. What are you up to?” Umm, of course you don’t know me I’m from
squadron 17 I came in from the north nobody knows
who I am but that doesn’t mean I have any less right to be here I’m gonna leave. Hello Mr. Security Man members only, I am a member you see you don’t realize I am from Fox Trot Delta alpha Niner g-you gonna let me through? thank you thank you for letting me
through I’m very happy to-oooaaaammmm, fake surrender Aaaaahhhhhh! I got shot in the chest! *Exaggerated death noises* Let’s try this again. I love recording Hitman videos because
there are great opportunities to roleplay stuff and-that-that-not in
that kinky sense but in a sense that like you just get in you can become anyone
else and then just make up your own story as you go along. Ooh, I have to kill this dude! Well, I don’t have to, but, let’s face it
I’m a hitman, not a slap man I don’t come up and-I’m not subdue man, I’m hitman A-poosh! Right in the top of the head and kill you
split your head open, skull all over the place. Can I-can you fucking move or do
something I need to kill you finally the bathroom! Oh God, I’ve been
waiting to take a deuce all day Haaaahhh, Plllllbbbbbbbbbtttttttttaaaaahhhh heheheh Um, okay I need to get an invite from
someone to get in here and then I’ll be able to get to the camera man how you had an invite
I could fuck I know you said that first time It’s not like
I can’t hear you through the fucking fibers of your mustache I heard yah! I just don’t care I do care but I need an invite. Anybody
going to go to the bathroom anybody, oh maybe the waiter dude if I-could I
strangle him over here and nobody’d know? No, I’m gonna go to turn off the fan
again when I turned off the fan last time he was like oh, fans broken gotta go
check it so let’s see if he does the same thing again. I wanna see where he goes nope. You didn’t fucking suspect anything! Why is everyone looking at me weird? I just turned off the fan! The dude said he was too cold and not
really warm here that’s hard to believe but he said he was too cold so I had to
turn off the fan. Man, now he’s suspicious of me god damn it these dudes are getting high as balls
look at that shisha pipe. Flblblbllb It’s freaking out all over the place! good Christ that must be some serious
ganja man Is that-is that how the people say it? Nobody can
see me in the bathroom I’m gonna sneak and spy on someone doing the peepee. Ohohohoho Or maybe not fucking stinks in here ughh Oooh! Pickup courtyard club membership card. Yes in dee dee, my name’s Stevie. Down we go. Wait, where is i-okay he’s all the way
in there we have to head back nice Hello! Fine soldier! Why are you here? Just because I killed that lady again? I
mean she deserved it. Ok? It’s not my fault. There’s no-see?
There’s no-not even any blood around but, You know what? You can’t be let live! I don’t know why I didn’t just snap your
neck before now I wonder do I take your disguise or not around my better hidden I think I’m better hidden without the
disguise because if i take the disguise and then go through some soldiers that
might know who I am but, nobody knows who the hitman am. Niiiccce ‘Sup dude! Remember all those times you rejected me? Now I can just go up and be like Hey, yo, what’s up? Invitation. You like that bitch? that’s-ahh now I feel like a fucking
high roller Where is the dude I need to kill? I
will definitely enjoy myself. In fact, one might say I might enjoy
myself too much. Fun is murder other jokes Oh, I need to get some poison. Where would
a man find poison in Marrakesh shisha palace? That’s the real question. Don’t mind me. All part of the plan. This is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. This is where I want to be right now. What are we doing? Here we go, here we go. Get ’em! Get ’em! Get ’em! Quietly, quietly, quietly, nobody
else is here. Nobody else saw a thing. Nobody else saw a thing. Get his-get his disguise. Please, please nobody come in here. Nobody come in here please. For the love of God. Need to drag you here. That’s why I’m able to get up on the roof! Key card and coin. I need my coin back please. Yes! Now I can cli-get up on the pipe
and get out that way. Get out an-get out of Dodge. Unless
somebody sees me. Nobody’s gonna see me,
because I am a sneaky sneaky man. How do I get down from here? Wait, what? I keep going up? Oooohhh Oh shit. Oh shit, everyone’s suspicious of me. Oh What am I supposed to do? Should I just make a break for it? Is it ’cause I’m trespassing? It’s cause I’m trespassing. It’s cause I’m trespassing. Ok Gone. Gone like a fucking bat out of hell. Yeesss! Oh God, that was much harder to do than it should have been. But damn do I look good right now. I look like a tourist. Hey, what’s up? The name’s Finley. I’m here to work for you guys. How’s it going? Pissing Streets aren’t safe. They felt very safe to me. The only thing that wasn’t safe in the streets was me. And I-I wasn’t even that good at my job. Maybe I’ll be better as a cameraman being a hitman isn’t really working out for me I’m not the best at it so maybe being a
cameraman’ll be a lot better. Maybe I should shoot things of a
different variety. What have you got? Oh, it’s just a mask. I thought he had a bunch of tubes on his face Yeah we’re here to ki-I mean interview Klaus Strandberg Murder, fuck! Oh, am I gonna get scanned? Hey, the scanner off! Niiiicccee. Nobody suspect-ed-ed-ed a thing. This is a nice looking place! This looks like somewhere like from google
or something Let’s follow them in. Let’s follow them in and we’re going to kill Klaus Strasberg Stras Klausberg. Klaus-Santa Claus!
I’m going to kill Santa Claus Sure, is that him? *gasp* I see him he’s the bad. I have to kill that dude. How do I kill him? Should I strangle him with a Swedish flag? You made it? You sound more German than Swedish. Okay, they want me to start the camera, but, do I stay a cameraman or do I become a consulate janitor? I don’t know. I don’t know what methods there are to kill
this dude yet. Ooooohhhh. Knock down the moose. I got it. I got it. Cameraman’ll be there
in no time at all. Don’t even worry , cameraman is on it. I’m not really. I’m here to murder. Say it
with me. Muuuurrrrddddeeeer Yes, hello. What’s this room? Hey, it’s nature! What are you guys doing? Okay Good looking out. Imma keep going. Heh heh heh Release the moose! I never thought I’d
ever get to do this in my entire life. There we go, take this Klaus! That was fucking terrible. Turn on stage lamp. There we go. Okay, okay. I’m getting out. I’m getting out. I’m getting out. There was- Nope nope nope Hey, what’s going on fellas? You’re de-terrible thing happened. Oh, I know so ba-where the fuck was the other
disguise You don’t see me You don’t see anything. Okay, is the other disguise in here I can’t remember. Yes, yes, yes. Disguise, right here. Hehehehe. That dude you thought
you just saw. What do. Did not do the do. It was I the janitor-I mean, cameraman. I am the good one. Here we go. We allowed to leave now? Did I kill my target? Can I just exit
the mission *Random man* “Welcome” What else do I have to do? I have to kill
Reza Zaydan. Aww, man. I have to kill someone else. This is taking forever. I want to go home,
I want to get ice cream. I need to track one of these. Umm, Open
Sesame. Bad Blood. What does that mean? Uhh, everybody! Everybody! Yeah, protester people! Yeah, you can go home! The dude who you’re all protesting against. Yeah, I killed him. Don’t tell the guards though. You too. Don’t tell anybody. Ssssssshhhhhhhh ‘Sup soldiers. 10-4. Just walking in. Why? Oh come on! I’m a soldier too! I should be allowed in. It’s just like high school all over
again. You just-you try and blend in with the cool kids. Then everyone’s like no, you can’t come this
way because you’re different. And then it’s like: “I’m not! I’m the same!” Aaaahhh! Not really. That didn’t happen
to me at all in high school actually. We don’t even call it high school
we call it secondary school. Can I go this way? I thought I got this
fucking disguise for a reason. I need to be a higher ranking officer.
Well fuck my titties. Oh God dude. Are you smoking in front of the gas canister-in front of the oil canisters? Dude that’s a bad idea Uuuuuuummmmm Oh, it turns out I was busy after all.
Imma just head home This is going to go terribly. Oh dude, dude, what the fu-what is wrong with you? I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it. That dude
he wanted to smoke all on his own he did it on his own it was not me We good? Imma just… Imma just sneak by. Imma just sneak by. Okay, are you gonna go out? Imma just sneak by. Uuuuhhhhhh I did it! I did it! I’m a fuckin’ genius! Not really though. They can still see me. Ummmm. Now there’s other dudes in here who are going to see me. Ahhh, fuck! Is there nobody looking at you? Can I
close this door? Can something else happen? Imma-imma subdue you okay? Nobody
else is looking, ok, subdue! Why are people searching? Who saw this? Nobody did, that’s who Is there anywhere I can
dump your body? Yes, yes. Ok, go. Quickly, quickly, quickly,
quickly, quickly, quickly. Yeeesss! Sneakers! Here we go. Somebody else died here. He left is disgui-actually he just got naked and left his… …gun… Niiicccceee! Hahahaha. He’s dragging the body away. hit it Sorry dude did I make your jo-did I make your job a
bit harder? Whoopsie-floopsie. Ok, can I come through now? *Soldier* “I think you ought to put that away.” Okay We good? Hey! I’m part of the cool kids now. Even
though you guys are soldiers you should recognize that somebody has a different
face and then you just walk up and the same dude dressed as something else comes up. Toy tank! Dudes, just picked up a toy tank! See, even military people, hardened veterans,
hardened soldiers even they need some toys every now and then to play with. Yeah, thank you. General Zaydan. Where the fuck is he? I’m looking for the reds. Hello? Anybody? What is this place? Okay, go in here. Nobody suspects me right now. Get an officer’s disguise. Ok, so an officer’s thing. Is that down
here? Are you a officer? Ooooohhhh Aaaaaaahhhh You don’t see me! They almost saw me. Imma just stand here and do a little dance. Untzuntzuntzuntz heheheheh Aw man. Sometimes when you’re recording these types of games, it goes on all fucking day. Like, I’ve been
recording this for an hour and 15 minutes but it takes so long to get shit
done that you kind of lose track of your energy levels. You got to keep things fun for yourself.
You got to keep things fu-I’m a fucking kill you Come on, somebody break character or go
somewhere This is annoying! *laughs* Dude, you guys going to have a nice
little conversation The speakers are on now. They’re saying it to the entire fucking school. Dude, you guys are in trouble. Oh, you guys are in trouble. Zaden’s going to come down to kick your ass. There he is. There’s Zadey Boy. Can’t I just kill him like right here right now? Where’re you going? Where’re you going? Dude, I can just kill you in here! Oh, oh, oh, oh. Perfect opportunity, perfect opportunity. Woosh! Nobody saw! Nobody saw! Nobody saw! I’m
leaving! See you later! I would try, but I can’t seem to climb
down for some reason. Uuummmmm Can I get down? Can I hang? Move fast window. Ooohhh, there we go. Nice and sneaky. Heheheheh Can I hop down please? I wanna hop down and
go through the gate. Ah, shit. It says people noticed the crime but nobody
noticed anything. Fuck off! Nobody sees me, ah everybody see me! I need to run! Where’s the exit? Where the fuckin’ exit at? Exit! Yes! Nobody saw! Nobody saw-uh-if I say it enough to myself it’ll come true. Can I vault over these? No, I’ll go
around. Can’t go over them must go around them. Can’t-fuck it! Did you guys hear? General Zaden is dead! I’m so scared that I’m leaving. Look! I’m
running away out of fear! That’s the real reason I’m running away. So close, so close I can taste it So close I can taste it. Let me-let me
taste the nummies. Ooohhh, yeeeeaaaaah! Baby! Whoo! Did it! And nobody suspected anything. You guys didn’t even know I killed
anyone. Did you? Whoo-hoo! ‘Kay, well that does it for this episode of Hitman! That was a long one. God, because there’s so many people in
that level. Did you go around and it’s really hard to kill anyone without
anyone else noticing. Good level though! I might do another video on it and try and
get some of the other things being that news reporter was fun but I should have
knocked some-I should have knocked a bit more crack out of it as they’d say. we
should’ve went in and had like a remote bomb and put it on the camera and then being
like “Hey! Good to hear! Catch!” Umm, really good level though. It just ran like
ass all the characters on screen made the frame rate tank, but I love this game. This new Hitman is really proving that
it’s gone back to its roots and I love that. I love that there’s just so many
different ways to complete these levels. Now, that level was really fucking
hard though but anyway, thank you guys so much for watching this video if you
liked it punch that like button in the face LIKE A BOSS! And, high fives all around. Wapish, wapish Thank you guys and I will see all you dudes…IN THE NEXT VIDEO! Hey look at me, I’m half a goat! Where’s me arse? Okay, we’re going into research. Maybe I can research how to find the rest of myself Am I going to be a full goat now? Am I whole? Yeah. Okay. It is really warm in here. I feel like I’m gonna die. But I won’t.


100 thoughts on “LIGHTS, CAMERA, DEATH | Hitman #4

  1. Dang he was playing as too many people I saw him switch characters 15 times. At least only one character killed someone

  2. I live in Australia and am Australian and our weather right now is sunny cold and there’s a cyclone coming.

  3. I love Meat Dumplings my Moms Aunt is making some in Canada I’m going tomorrow I’ll be sure to send some over to Ireland 🇮🇪

  4. why didnt they come up with double takedowns like you just appear behind some guys and knock their heads together or alluring you tell someone something exiting get them alone and bam they be DED!!!

  5. Jackcepticeye: You protesters can go home now because I killed the person your protesting. Just don’t tell the guards, you too. looks at us through camera

    Us: Excuse me. looks at guard I think a man dressed as a camera man, then janitor, then a soldier killed Cluas Hugo Standberg.

    Jackcepticeye: F*ck! What did I tell you!?!

  6. Mmmmm dumplings there so good the spicy ones that is

    Edit: don’t eat the dumplings their they do not it well in your stomach I literally almost vomited

  7. Jack did you know that on the level when you’re in the desert if you shoot all the vultures you see a car will come out of nowhere and it will kill the guy you’re have to kill

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