Lindsay Lohan dropped, uh,
the music video -for her new single, “Xanax.”
-RAPAPORT: Yes. I want you to drop it in acid. Uh, let’s take a look. -♪ I don’t ♪
-♪ Don’t, don’t ♪ ♪ Like the parties in L.A. ♪ -♪ I go home ♪
-♪ Home, home ♪ ♪ In a bad mood,
pass out, wake up alone ♪ ♪ Alone, alone… ♪ Uh, by the way, my Instagram
stories look more professional. -CHRISTINA P: I know.
-Um… Michael, do you relate
to this music? You know, I feel bad
for Lindsay Lohan. I-I do. Every, like… Now, it’s, like,
every six months, there’s a Lindsay Lohan
comeback, and it never hits, and I agree, because my Instagram videos
look better than that. And-and I feel like she needs,
like, a new friend group. Her and the football player
Antonio Brown need better… like a better crew around them. -Yeah, that’s right.
-Yeah. -That’s true.
-I feel bad for Lindsay. She’s from Long Island. Like, this-this business
has chewed her up. SPADE:
Chews you up every time. -Let me ask you a question,
Dave. -He’s getting worked up. Let me ask you a question.
Let me ask you a question. ‘Cause-’cause I want
to acknowledge this in public. You are one
of the great low-key stick men -in Hollywood history.
-(applause and cheering) Now I want to say that publicly. You are one of the…
one of the greatest -of all time. -What does that
mean? You be, like, laying pipe? -Is that what it means?
-Yeah. -Strange being.
-That’s the rumor. -RAPAPORT: Low-key. Low-key.
-CHRISTINA P: Yeah. Okay, like the city. Go ahead. -I got it. I’m caught up.
-So-so in here… -“I’m caught up.”
-Not in disrespectful way, -irresponsible way, like…
-Oh, he be making love. Okay. Just, he put…
he puts it down. Did you ever come across
Lindsay Lohan in your prime? -You mean literally?
-I’m just saying. You know what. -(laughter)
-Uh, no, I have… SLOAN:
No, no, no. Don’t put him
on Front Street like that. Listen, girl, we look at… You were always
the “after” picture. -Like why…?
-Yeah. -Yeah. I understand. She’s had a bit
of a rough time with it, and, uh, we all love
Lindsay Lohan movies. I’ve seen her out in real life.
She’s very sweet. Uh, but it is… it is… I don’t know if this music
video– especially that part in the middle where she was,
like, with Marion Barry. Remember that old footage? -Wait. What?
-Where… well… Remember that old crack? You remember the mayor of D.C.? -“You set me up, bitch.”
-Yeah. -Yeah. Yeah. “You set me up, bitch.” It’s going back.
Well, you’re too young. -You’re not. You’re too young.
-SLOAN: No, I remember. I-I remember the fall
of all great black men. Um… -(laughter)
-CHRISTINA P: Oh, man. -It’s like…
-But it’s… -SPADE: Aw. -CHRISTINA P: I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. -SPADE: Go ahead. Oh, no. It’s just, like,
you never see this happen with, like, black child stars. Like, Tia and Tamara are fine. Kenan and Kel are fine. -Todd Bridges.
-That’s-that’s just it. But he was around
too many white people. -(laughter, applause)
-It was Mr. Drummond’s fault. Listen, Michael Jackson didn’t
flip out till he went white -if you really track it.
-SPADE: Yeah, that’s true. -CHRISTINA P: Yeah. Right.
-SPADE: All right. We’re being mean girls.
Let’s move on. All right, Jennifer Lawrence, future friend of the show–
she came out… This is sort of
a confusing story. She came out
with a list of ideas for a wedding registry
on Amazon. But I’m not sure what’s going on
here, but I’m gonna find out. Uh, it’s her… wedding registry
gift guide. Uh… -SLOAN: “Philanthropist.”
-SPADE: Philanthropist, yeah. -Oh, boy.
-Because it’s free shipping. -Yeah.
-Um, but… I think that’s better
than what I do, but it’s… She is getting married, but I don’t know
if this is hers or a commercial that she’s… -CHRISTINA P: Yeah.
-An ad. What do you think? Well, like, no one believes that Jennifer Lawrence
is using a Keurig. Like, she probably just… Like,
she has an espresso machine -that an Italian man
just lives in. -SPADE: Right. -A pizza stone. She’s not making
anything with Keurigs. -No. -No. I think what’s annoying
personally to me is when celebrities pretend
to be normal people, you know? Or, like, remember when…
like that sitcom Zooey Deschanel did, and
they just put glasses on her, and they’re like, “She’s ugly.” -No, you’re not.
-Oh, New Girl. Like, the girl from Hunger Games
is not getting a panini press. Like, I’m not doing it with you. I’m not…
I love Jennifer Lawrence. -I do, too. -I think that
she will historically go down as the biggest movie star ever,
because of her talent. She could do comedy, drama,
she’s beautiful. But if I show up
to your wedding, I-I… You need to give me gifts. I’m not bringing you a carafe. -Yeah.
-A carafe. -You’re good.
-A tray. A toaster.
I need, like, a caviar spread if I show up to your wedding. That’s it.
That’s how it’s going down. I’m not giving her
a four-in-one adaptor. None of that. A camera.
What do you… -What do you want? -This is such
a boring list, too. Like, show me
some interesting people’s lists. -Like, let’s do Charlie Sheen’s
Amazon list. -SPADE: Yeah! I want to see, like… -Right?
-Gold-plated straws. I got it. A straws, a bucket of lube
and no condoms.