You may have noticed
that we don’t have a house band on the show yet. I’m still interviewing people, some up-and-coming musicians. Here is the latest group
I interviewed. SPADE:
Okay, hey guys. I’m David. And you are… Rascal Flatts. -Okay. This seems fair.
-Yeah, the band. Good to see ya. You’re, uh, names. -Really?
-What’s your name? -Gary. Yeah. Yeah.
-Gary. Okay. -I’m-I’m Jay.
-Jay. We-We worked on a show together
for a while. -Yes. -Joe Don.
-Joe Don. Anyway, I don’t have tons
of time, but, uh, you do know this is a meeting,
not an offer. Okay.
A couple things. Um, first of all,
you spelled flats wrong. Um, I know sometimes
that’s on purpose. That’s on purpose. Yeah. -Two “T”s.
-Okay, that helps. There are 70 seats in here. Some nights it could go to 80. Can you guys handle that? -I’ve played a hundred.
-JOE DON: Mm-hmm. I play a hundred seats
sometimes if I go– I’m a national headliner–
when I go on the road. What’s the most seats
you guys have played? 48,000-ish. -Give or take.
-Give or take. -48,000?
-JOE DON: Give or take -DEMARCUS: It’s Wrigley Field.
-some thousands. -Yeah. -That place
with the baseball players? -Yeah.
-It’s-It’s the same one. What was the reason for
Guy Fieri leaving the band? -He was never,
never in the band. -No. -I don’t-I don’t even know if
he plays or sings. -Oh, okay. He’s always
at those chili cookouts -or whatever he does.
-Right. Jay… If there’s an earthquake,
you guys need to figure out how to make some sort of shield
to protect me. I mean,
there’s three of you, so… Like a human shield? Uh, yeah. Like, just a… Just so you get hurt
and I don’t. And, uh, if a helicopter
had to pick me up, could they land on your head? Is that a legal helicopter pad? Oh, it’s not. Oh, this is awkward,
but you are dressed in the same outfit
that my dad wore the night he went out for
cigarettes and never came back. Oh, wow. I’m gonna need a second. I’m sorry,
is this part of the band gig? -Yeah. -But we’re supposed
to play songs, right? -Before the show.
-That’s what we do. -We’re getting to that.
-Oh. Okay. Attitude problem. Uh, and the show starts
at 3:30 p.m., so I’ll need everybody here
around 5:00 a.m. -P.m.
-You can stay for the night. -If you want to stay out all
night, come on in. -(groans) H-How many songs
will we have to play, do you think,
per show on average? Just a couple toe tappers. -Okay.
-You know, I walk out. Beep, bop, beep, bop, beep,
boop. Whatever you got. -(clicks tongue)
-Theme-theme music kind of? -(imitates jug playing)
Yeah, theme music. -Bass. -Got it. -Who plays the jug?
Where my jug players at? Do you play jug? -I played the jug, yes.
-Oh, yeah. I don’t even need a jug. (imitating jug playing) -That’s pretty good.
-Impressive. -Talent. You’re expendable. As far as payment goes, would you prefer cash,
PayPal or corn dogs? -PayPal.
-Venmo. (pen scratching) Okay. Um, wait here
for about a half hour while I leave,
and then you can tiptoe out. Thank you so much for coming in, Manny, Moe, Jack? Take care, guys. What’s the matter? I thought I didn’t…
My wallet is gone, I believe. -DeMARCUS: Really?
-LeVOX: Yeah. Hey, do you guys even think
this is a real show? ROONEY: I thought Joe Dirt
played David Spade. -That would have been great.
-LeVOX: Yeah, I know. -DeMARCUS: This sucks.
-LeVOX: Yeah, this does suck. Hey, let’s get
the (bleep) out of here.